


It Is Okay When It Is You

by Vangle



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Comfort Sex, First Time, Fluff and Mush, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:31:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vangle/pseuds/Vangle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First times are scary. But that's okay. If you trust each other, then you can work it out. Simon and Baz love each other. Making love isn't as scary as having sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Is Okay When It Is You

**Penny**

Back and forth. Back and forth.

I watch Simon pace around the living room. I was enjoying the view comfortably on the couch. This is awfully entertaining. Simon used to pace around the room, mumbling about Basil since the first year. If only it was for the same reason. “I can’t do this. I’ll freak out!”

“Didn’t you share a room with him for almost 8 years?”

“Yes.”

“Didn’t you live with him for like 2 weeks before we moved into our place?”

“Yes.”

“Then why is 5-day trip in another country in a cottage with a single bed such a problem?”

“Because we are going to on a 5-day trip to another country and staying in a cottage that has one bed for 2.”

“I fail to see the problem. You’ve been dating for how long now? 7 months? I mean you are grown up people. You’ve had some intimacy. You’ve slept together on the same couch.” Simon pulled on his hair and paced around. He is leaving in 2 hours and he didn’t pack a single thing, typical. I’m going to start yelling at him about it in a minute but I have a cup of jasmine tea that I want to finish it in the comfort of my couch and live entertainment. The word hasn’t been said but it was written all over his face. SEX.

If only this was one sided...

4 hours ago....

Basil was sitting on the couch this very couch while Simon was out, buying groceries or something. “I can’t do this.”

“Basil, I am pretty sure Simon is nervous about this too.”

“I am going to screw this up.”

“You can’t screw this up. Didn’t you spend hours taking into consideration every little thing that would make sure Simon felt nice and calm? It isn’t like you are going somewhere very fancy. I mean you are taking a train half the distance overnight.”

“Simon likes trains.”

Basilton Pitch is the most disappointing powerful vampire ever. He was always scary and grandiose. Don’t get me wrong. He is. He is also very dramatic. But he is also a big emotional softy. I mean who would have thought. Simon doesn’t drink. Agatha used to be my drinking buddy before moving away. She would always drink rather heavily and started mumbling or yelling. No in between. Basil has taken her place as Simon’s lover and my drinking buddy. I do miss drinking a little too much and ending up in a stranger’s car (no I don’t). But Basil always shows up with a nice bottle of expensive red and white wine. We usually crash on the couch and pull out the fancy wine glasses. When we have one too many, we start blabbering about the most random shit. We can start with an in depth discussion of the power of metaphoric spells cast literally all the way to our favorite character on Orange is the new black.

Back to the present, Simon is still freaking out over everything and I can’t help but think how I’d like to turn my tea into the Jean-Luc Colombo Cornas Terres Brûlées 2008 I had with Basil a week ago. “SIMON! You are going regardless of how worried you feel now. You are staying in a cottage by a lake. And forest. In an area that is so pretty that famous painters would travel there for inspiration. You are going to scare some sheep. Catch some frogs. Hike in the woods. Try local food, find a favorite and eat only that thing for the rest of the trip. And have sex with your boyfriend. It isn’t like you two didn’t fool around after the Leaver’s Ball.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!”

“I got it out of a very drunk Basil. Now start packing. Don’t forget your sport clothes. And suns screen.” I swallowed the rest of my tea and start kicking him to his room to pack.

 

**Simon**

Baz had fallen asleep on the train ride on his bunk. We were traveling over night. I had a book with me but I couldn’t even look at it. Baz is so calm about this. He is sleeping above me, not worried about this at all. Penny is probably right that nothing will go wrong but I can’t help but feel nervous. I don’t want to screw up. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t talk about sex with anyone before. Everyone, even Penny, assume that I did it with Agatha. I didn’t even get close. I only had a real chance when I was at her house and if felt guilty even thinking about doing it with her while her parents were downstairs. Well... I used that as an excuse to say that I was not ready and I didn’t want to yet. It wasn’t about her but me. But as a guy, it was unmanly that I didn’t jump at the opportunity of sex. I definitely want to do it now. Doing it with Baz is also something I want. I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want to accidentally hurt him. I’m not good at being vulnerable. At least Baz is calm about this.

 

**Baz**

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE! I am lying on the top bunk, trying to breathe calmly, to pretend that I’m asleep. I’m waiting for Simon to fall asleep so I can watch him sleep because somethings never change. It feels like maybe I’ll get some sort of answer this way. Does he want to? Should we do it on this trip? What if sex with me makes him realize he doesn’t actually want to be with me? I care so much about him that I don’t know how to handle this. Simon isn’t good with confrontation, in this case, neither am I. There is nothing else I can do then see how it works out but I am not okay with that.

 

**Simon**

All my fears melt away when we get there. Living in the city is draining. I loved the small village and the area around us so much that I woke up Baz up every morning at 6 am. No I do not set an alarm. He uses the opportunity that we are in the same bed to literally kick me out of it. We reenacted the Lion King.

“BAZ! PLEASE! HELP ME!”

Baz would look angrily from his pillow, grabbing mine as well. “Long live the king.” And I’d be on the floor. Making annoying sounds after he is out of things to throw at me and gets up to fight me to the floor personally. We still fight. For real. But not as rough. And often ending in tumbling around and snogging.

We would walk for hours, exploring new places. I was really bothered that I hardly I didn’t have pictures of my boyfriend. I tried to take purposely bad to vex him. I find out the hard way that he is very photogenic. Wind blowing? Sexy hair blow. Yawning? Looks like a kitten.

 

**Baz**

We got to the last day too fast. Simon made each day impossibly long but it felt like no time at all. It isn’t my usual type of vacation but it was probably my favorite one. We lay down in bed for the last time tonight. Simon likes to sleep away toward the middle of the bed and I like to sleep facing the edge. Simon usually gets really close and I pull his arm around my waist. (small spoon Baz)

I lie down exhausted. Simon decided to revisit all his favorite spots all over again. Where does he get the energy? I am just going to sleep. I do not have the energy for something like sex even if he offered. Simon lightly nudges his leg against me. “Baz?” He asks quietly, checking if I’m asleep. “What is it?”

“Do you want to have sex with me right now?” I chocked on my own spit.

“What?!” No word of this before and now this. Snow will be the death of me. I’m sure of that. I sit up and so does he. “It was kind of an expectation that we have sex and I never really asked if that is what you wanted.” When Simon uses long sentences without stuttering or tripping on his words, it means business.

“Do you want to?” I ask him. I needed this answer. Since fifth year.

“Yeah, I do. I mean I haven’t done it before and...” He had his mouth open and couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t help but help relief that he hadn’t been a visitor of Wellbelove’s nightstand.

“Well do you want to or not?” He demands from me as he couldn’t focus his thoughts into words. He switches from being able to calmly saying anything to not able to respond in seconds.

“I--....” Who the fuck am I to be loss of words?! Is this the Simon Snow curse or something?

“We don’t have to do it tonight. We could do it tomorrow. Or when we get back. In a month. Year. I dunno.” I felt the hair stand on the back of my neck. “FUCK THAT!!!” I straddle him without thinking and kiss him hard. He kisses back, holding my neck. Panic rises in my chest. I have been conditioned to show my weakness to him. To let him know when I am not okay. I wish I never did. I pull away, my long sharp fangs were out. I cover my mouth right away but it was too late. He saw. “Are you nervous?” He looks at me like he can’t believe it. “SHUT UP!” I can’t believe it either.

He gently takes my other hand and rubs it. “Do you want to do it?” He asks  
“I do.”  
“Then let’s try it differently. I learned a few things about you over getting to date you, one of those things is that you like to be comfortable.” He pulls me closer and we lie down facing each other. Just looking at him like this, was most calming. The room was not very well lit but we could see each other perfectly. Simon slowly kisses me and there was no need for anything else to be said. I let him get on top of me and we strip each other. He has perfect shoulder. I just love everything about his body. I always have. He is built strong but he is just made of soft spots to grab when he eats properly. He rubs up between my thighs. It felt so good, I let out a little moan. We’ve gotten further than this before but it never stops feeling amazing. I can never stop wanting him.

**Simon**

I decided that it doesn’t matter if I am not the most experienced partner. I love him. And I know him and what he likes. I also know he does not hold back if I do anything wrong. Tonight will be no exception. I didn’t know how this night would work but I know I am open to try anything as long as it is with him.

I rub up his legs, because god damn I love his long legs. His light moan was more encouraging than anything. He was very well prepared for this. He reached for his nightstand and he feels around for a bottle of lube that I spot first. I reach out to take it and get some on my fingers. He keeps his spread as I slip my fingers inside of him. He digs his nails into my back and hear him moan loudly in my ear. He kisses my neck, the fangs gone. I take my time and he doesn’t seem to mind. He was clean and I knew he was expecting this but couldn’t get to bring it up. That makes two of us. I kiss his chest, leaving a few hickeys here and there. They only show up properly if he drank well and he did tonight. I’m glad for that as I don’t want him to be focusing tonight on not biting me. 

I then reach back into the drawer and immediately find a condom. I can’t rip it open with my hand and teeth and I couldn’t do it with both hands as I got lube on the other. Baz takes it from me and opens it effortlessly using a sharp fang. He then puts it on for me. 

I could feel his heart racing against my chest like mine. He had his arms around me and my arms at his perfect waist as I slowly entered him. He tensed a little and I didn’t move till I felt him completely relax. I felt amazing and I just hoped it felt the same way for him. I started to move slowly and he would pull on my hair. He is beautiful. I love him. I believe him when he tells me that he loves me. 

We keep going for a long time. Moans. Gasps. Loads of hair pulling. It was better than I ever thought it could be. There really is something about making love. 

This vacation was way too short.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Condom are sexy. Safe is sexy.


End file.
